They Really Are Pathetic

One more reason why I will not be surprised when Obama supporters begin insisting that their messiah's speeches be printed only in red ink - From Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN):

"I submit to you, Mr. Speaker, um, that the parties have differences, but if you want Change, but if you want change, you want the Democratic party, uh, Barack Obama was a community organizer like Jesus who our, uh, minister prayed about, uh, Pontius Pilate was a governor."

Ohhhhhhhhhh. So, that's what community organizers do...walking on water, turning water into wine, healing sick people, being raised from the dead. I'm so glad congressman Cohen cleared that up for us! Who knew we had a Jewish expert on New Testament theology in the House?

The Obama Speech

What an inspiring, well-delivered articulation of Jimmy Carter's policies. Obama continues to impress with his ability to make college kids and celebrities weep with eloquent references to socialist and populist policies that they think the rest of America will embrace now that they have a handsome, charismatic "framer" for their ideas.

And let's not forget the media - they were cheering just as loudly as the teenie-boppers. Oh, I'm sure we'll see them shouting and clapping during John McCain's acceptance speech as well. They are, after all, professional journalists. (Wait...no, I wouldn't start holding your breath just yet). For those who couldn't bear to listen to his drivel, continuously interupted by his adoring worshippers, the gist of his speech was as follows:

"Tired of paying a lot for gas? Don't want to continue paying your mortgage? Sick of having to pay for the best healthcare system in the world? Angry about corporations making a profit? Sick of people trying to limit your right to use abortion as birth-control? Don't have the stomach to finish a war against evil?

Well, just elect me and it'll all go away! I am, after all, the messiah. See how inspiring my voice sounds when I say everything really loud? It doesn't matter how I plan to accomplish any of this. We all know the government can solve all of these problems for us. It won't even really affect most of you out there tonight. Most of you either don't pay any taxes at all, or are rich enough that the highest tax increase in history wouldn't even make a dent. The only people we'll stick it to are small business owners and people who work for a living - and they're all Republicans anyway!

So, vote for me and we'll all return to the days of Jimmy Carter! Oh, and McCain sucks and is really just George Bush in a whiter, cancer-ridden costume...seriously.

YESWECAAAAN!"

Another Flip from the Flop

I awoke Sunday morning to the news that the Democrat party's flop has flipped yet again, and I knew it was going to be a good week. The look on his face as he stuttered his way through yet another tail-tucked admission of defeat to conservatism was utterly priceless. And so, it is with great satisfaction, that we add offshore drilling to the ever growing list of Obama's remarkably spineless concessions to conservative criticism.

I guess we conservatives were wrong about the Obama. Maybe when he claims to be a "new kind of politician", he means the kind that does whatever the base of the other party wants him to do...I kinda like that.

Brobama

A certain British newspaper, which I will not link to, and do not read because of my support for a certain British football club, caught up with one of Barack's little brothers (well, technically half brother). Bernard Obama lives in Kenya where he runs a car parts store, but visits his mother, who lives in the UK, quite often. Bernard and Barack were born of the same Kenyan father, but by different mothers, and didn't actually meet until Bernard was around 17.

It would therefore be difficult to argue that Bernard reflects in any way on his older half-brother - besides, we all know that the Obama is the incarnation of Hope and Change, and cannot therefore be considered anything other than divine.

Bernard is a proud muslim, but we're not supposed to mention that word in the same sentence as His HopeChangefulness, so we'll leave that topic well enough alone. The Brobama is also a devoted Manchester United fan, and avid reader of The Sun*. Now, I could care less about his religion - that's between him and his Maker - but his exceptionally poor choice of football club, and alleged daily reading of such a sorry excuse for journalism is so egregious that it cannot do less than reflect poorly on his illustrious big bro...at least in my book. But then I was already pretty biased against the Obamessiah before I learned his brother was a dirty manc.

*The Sun, which is never to be named in the presence of a Liverpool fan, much less ever purchased or read, is still the subject of a boycott among any well-informed Red. This is due to the inexcusable coverage of the Hillsborough disaster, which claimed the lives of 96 Liverpool FC supporters in 1989. The newspaper's editor ran a completely false and unsubstantiated article on the front page of the rag, claiming that the LFC fans involved in the tragedy participated in horrible acts which will not be given the dignity of having been named on this site. The editor refuses to apologize for this remarkable smear to this day.

Must Read of the Day

From the Times:

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

...

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

Read the whole thing. It really is a clever little piece from our friends across the pond, and it lets us know that there are some in the media who have managed to maintain their composure, even in the very presence of His Highness, the Obamessiah.

Breaking News

Barack Obama today announced the addition of 3 new appointees to the staff postion of Press Secretary for the Obama Campaign. NBC, ABC, and CBS will join MSNBC, already a member of the Obama Team, during his much anticipated European Tour/Very Serious Visit of That Place Where We're Fighting a War.

When asked why Obama, a candidate for Commander-in-Chief of America's armed forces, had taken so long to visit the actual site of the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, his new handlers responded by feinting at the mention of his name. It was unclear from the former journalists' garbled responses (which included vague but passionate references to Hope and Change) whether the network news agencies would ever return to coverage of "other news."

Hysterical!

This has to be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while...and according to Bill O'Reilly there was MUCH more (and much worse) that we didn't get to hear!