Breaking News

Barack Obama today announced the addition of 3 new appointees to the staff postion of Press Secretary for the Obama Campaign. NBC, ABC, and CBS will join MSNBC, already a member of the Obama Team, during his much anticipated European Tour/Very Serious Visit of That Place Where We're Fighting a War.

When asked why Obama, a candidate for Commander-in-Chief of America's armed forces, had taken so long to visit the actual site of the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, his new handlers responded by feinting at the mention of his name. It was unclear from the former journalists' garbled responses (which included vague but passionate references to Hope and Change) whether the network news agencies would ever return to coverage of "other news."